THREE WAYS
TO DIE
Your bad systems, that is. We specialize in three types of mercy killing. Each one ends with something that actually works.
DATA MIGRATION
Your data, liberated.
Trapped in spreadsheet hell? Database from the Bush administration? We extract your data from whatever prison it's in and migrate it somewhere civilized.
What we kill
Includes
- →Database design & architecture
- →ETL pipeline development
- →Zero-downtime migrations
- →Data validation & cleanup
- →Legacy system decommissioning
Ideal for
Companies drowning in Excel or stuck on databases that predate their employees.
WORKFLOW AUTOMATION
Robots do the boring stuff.
If a human is doing the same task more than twice, that's a crime. We build systems that handle the repetitive garbage so your team can do actual work.
What we kill
Includes
- →Process mapping & optimization
- →Custom automation pipelines
- →System integrations
- →Notification & alerting systems
- →Self-service tooling
Ideal for
Teams losing hours to repetitive tasks that should take seconds.
LEGACY CLEANUP
Mercy killing for code.
That codebase nobody wants to touch? The one with comments like "// I'm sorry"? We go in, figure out what it actually does, and rebuild it like it should have been built.
What we kill
Includes
- →Codebase archaeology
- →Documentation of undocumented systems
- →Incremental modernization
- →Technical debt elimination
- →Knowledge transfer
Ideal for
Companies held hostage by code that only one person (who left) understood.
HOW WE KILL
ASSESSMENT
1-2 days
We look at what you have. We document the horrors. We tell you exactly what needs to die and what can be saved.
Brutally honest assessment document
PLANNING
2-3 days
We design the execution. Timeline, milestones, risks, and a clear path from "this is awful" to "this actually works."
Project plan & architecture docs
EXECUTION
Varies
We do the work. Regular updates, no surprises. You see progress, not excuses.
Working software, incrementally
HANDOFF
2-3 days
We document everything. We train your team. We make sure you never need us again (unless you want us).
Documentation & training
NO HOURLY.
NO SURPRISES.
We quote fixed prices for fixed scopes. You know exactly what you're paying before we start. If we underestimate, that's our problem, not yours.
Single database migrations, workflow automations, targeted cleanups
Multi-system migrations, complex automations, legacy modernization
Full platform rebuilds, organization-wide transformations
READY TO START
THE AUTOPSY?
Tell us what's broken. We'll tell you how to fix it.
Get a free assessment→